The Trouble with Weekends

I have hit an unexpected bump with the empty nest situation. Let me give some background info first.

The Boy is going to college only 60 miles from home. To make it a complete college experience (and to save my nerves with having him on the road less), we got him a dorm close to his school. He has his freedom. He can do the whole "living away from home" thing. And he's close so I feel a little less like the baby bird has migrated too far away.

However, The Boy has a Girl. She's a few months older than him, but still in high school. So, The Boy comes home every weekend, mostly to see The Girl. Now when he originally told me this plan, I had visions of the weekends being just like old times: him and his friends playing video games in the bedroom for hours on end; me fixing meals that they dish up and disappear back into the room with; when everyone goes home late at night The Boy trying to keep me up for another hour chattering my head off telling me all the details of the video game and occasionally throwing in a tidbit of something meaningful about him, his school, or his friends.

That's not how things are turning out. He and his friends are making plans away from home, concerts, movies, football games, dinner out. The Boy has spent most of each weekend not at home. He's focused on The Girl and his friends. Mom is hardly in this picture.

I know he is feeling his independence all week long. That was the plan with getting a dorm. That same independence is flooding into the weekends at home and causing conflict. I expected him home, where I could feel like things are all the same. He expected to do whatever he felt like without checking in, telling me the plans, or spending time with his dear ol' mother.

I'm having to learn to let go of the dreams I had of still being the mom of a child. The Boy and I have negotiated an understanding; he can spend most of his weekend with The Girl and his friends but will set aside one portion of one day to spend with me, a meal, a movie, something. It's still not easy. If the plans change a little I feel more lonely and sad than any other time throughout the week. I can handle week nights alone just fine, when I expect The Boy to be away doing his own thing. But when I expect him home, or I planned a meal he'd like, or things just aren't living up to what I envisioned, it's difficult. That's when I feel the empty nest, not so much when he is away, but when he is near but not my good teenaged boy he'd been for five or six years now. I have to remind myself every time I need to take a step back, let him have his growing-up time, and not try to make things be what they won't ever be again.

Menu for Week 2

Most of my menus are devised from the recipes on the website EatingWell.com. It's an excellent site for low calories recipes. They also have meal ideas and other tips and articles. Several of the recipes on my menu have links to the original recipe on the EatingWell website.

This week's menu relies heavily on leftovers. I know leftovers get old after a couple of nights, but since I don't completely stick to my plans it will work fine for me.

Saturday

BREAKFAST (240 calories): Quick Breakfast Taco (2 corn tortillas, 1 tablespoon salsa, 2 tablespoons shredded reduced-fat cheddar cheese, 1/2 cup liquid egg substitute), 1 cup skim milk

SNACK (85 calories): 1.5 cup melon

LUNCH (470 CALORIES): EatingWell Cobb Salad, 1 slice whole-wheat toast with 1 slice cheese melted on it

SNACK (130 calories): Smoothie made with ½ banana, ½ container yogurt, ½ cup milk, and ice

DINNER (260 calories): Sausage Gumbo, 1 cup green veggie such as green beans, green salad with a light vinaigrette dressing 

Diet dessert (100 calories)

Sunday

BREAKFAST (240 calories): Quick Breakfast Taco, 1 cup skim milk

SNACK (85 calories): 1.5 cup melon

LUNCH (470 calories): EatingWell Cobb Salad, 1 slice whole-wheat toast with 1 slice cheese melted on it

SNACK (130 calories): Smoothie made with ½ banana, ½ container yogurt, ½ cup milk, ice

DINNER (395 calories): Tilapia & Summer Vegetable Packets, 1/2 cup cooked brown rice, 1 cup steamed broccoli

Diet dessert (100 calories)

Monday thru Friday

BREAKFAST (298 calories): Tomato & Ham Breakfast Melt: 2 slices thin multigrain bread, toasted, 4 thin slices tomato, 4 thin slices ham, 2 slices reduced-fat Cheddar cheese

SNACK (85 calories): 1.5 cup melon

LUNCH (406 calories): 2 servings gumbo, EatingWell Diet House Salad (or frozen entrees with a calorie count around 270 calories when the gumbo runs out)

SNACK (108 calories): Hummus & Vegetables with 3/4 cup mixed vegetables, such as baby carrots, cherry tomatoes and red bell pepper slices, 3 tablespoons prepared hummus

DINNER (399 calories): Hungarian Beef Goulash served over ½ cup cooked whole wheat noodles, green salad with a light vinaigrette

Diet dessert (100 calories)

Manhattan Crab and Shrimp Chowder

 Manhattan Crab and Shrimp Chowder
INGREDIENTS
2 T olive oil
1 cup diced yellow onion
1 cup diced fennel bulb
1 t dried ground oregano
1/2 t dried ground thyme
1/2 t fennel seeds
2 medium to large sized Yukon Gold potatoes, small dice
2 small zucchinis, small dice
28 oz can of crushed tomatoes
1 cup white wine
1 cup water
3-4 cups chicken broth, depending on desired thickness of chowder
2 4oz cans crab
1 4oz can baby shrimp
1/2 lb. raw shrimp, diced
Salt and pepper, to taste

1) Heat olive oil in a large stock pot. Add diced onion and fennel. Cook until softened, about 10 minutes.
2) Add spices (next three ingredients) and stir. 







3) Add potatoes, zucchini, canned tomatoes. Stir together. Add liquid items (white wine, water, and chicken broth). Cook for 20-30 minutes, until potatoes are tender. 
4) When potatoes are cooked to the desired degree, add canned crab and shrimp, and raw, diced shrimp. Cook 3-5 minutes longer, until the diced shrimp is no longer gray and translucent.

Serve with green salad and garlic bread. Very delicious.

Strawberry and Goat Cheese Salad

I know I'm behind on the fad of putting strawberries and other fruit in salad. I just never thought the idea of strawberries and spinach sounded good together. I was certainly proved wrong. I had a barbecue a couple of weekends ago and a friend of mine brought strawberry and feta green salad. I was gracious (and brave) and tried some. It was fabulous! Whodda thought?

So I made some adjustments: switched the feta cheese to goat cheese (any excuse to use goat cheese) and made a low-calorie salad dressing. Yum.

Strawberry and Goat Cheese Salad

INGREDIENTS 

1 cup spinach, chopped

1 cup arugula, chopped

1/2 cup sliced strawberries

1 oz goat cheese

1 T pecans

DRESSING INGREDIENTS

(These ingredients make four tablespoons of dressing. One tablespoon is one serving.)

1 T maple syrup

1 T olive oil

2 T rice vinegar

Salt and pepper to taste

1) Mix the dressing ingredients together in a bottle with a lid and shake well.

2) Layer the salad ingredients and top with 1 tablespoon of the dressing.

Voila! So good. 

Egg Salmon Sandwich

Yesterday, I had this sandwich with a salad for lunch. This morning I had it by itself for a Sunday breakfast. It's a filling, tasty meal that can go for any time of the day. This recipe is slightly higher in calories than the version quoted in my menu plan for the week. To cut the extra calories, use two egg whites instead of the egg beaters and leave off the whipped cream cheese. (Adapted from EatingWell.com recipe found at  http://www.eatingwell.com/recipes/egg_salmon_sandwich.html )

Egg Salmon Sandwich

INGREDIENTS

1 whole wheat, low calorie English muffin

2 T whipped cream cheese

1/2 cup Egg Beaters

1 oz smoked salmon

1 t capers

2 T thinly sliced red onion

2 small tomatoes

2 T basil

1) Cook the Egg Beaters, toast the English muffin, then assemble as pictured above. Very simple!

Menu for One

This week my goal is to work on my food blogging as an empty-nester.

Every week I create a menu of meals. I have done this for years. It helps with the, "I don't know what to cook" mental block on week nights. I don't usually stick to the actual plan for each day; I mix it around or eat something else as the week unfolds. But making the menu, helps with making my grocery list so that I can get all my food shopping done in one trip. I live too far out of town to make a quickie trip to the store for something forgotten.

Here's my menu for this week.

Saturday

Breakfast (295 cal): 1.25 cups Kix, 1 cup milk, and 1 med. Banana

Snack (80 cal): Cheese stick

Lunch (430 cal): Egg salmon sandwich and strawberry salad with goat cheese

Snack (100 cal): Popcorn

Dinner (368 cal): Manhattan Crab Chowder, whole wheat dinner roll with butter spray, Simple green salad with citronette

Snack (100 cal): Diet Dessert

Sunday

Breakfast (295 cal): 1.25 cups Kix, 1 cup milk, and 1 med. banana

Snack (80 cal): Cheese stick

Lunch (430 cal): Egg salmon sandwich and strawberry salad with goat cheese

Snack (100 cal): Popcorn

Dinner (393 cal): Shrimp with Broccoli, 1 cup brown rice

Snack (100 cal): Diet Dessert

Monday

Breakfast (275 cal): ½ cup cottage cheese, 1 cup pineapple, toast with butter spray

Snack (80 cal): Cheese stick

Lunch (400 cal): Shrimp Cesar (no croutons but with tomato), 10 bagel chips

Snack (96 cal): 1.5 cups melon

Dinner (400 cal): Turkey Wrap (high fiber tortilla, turkey lunchmeat, 1 T light mayo, lettuce, tomato) and 200 cal macaroni and cheese

Snack (100 cal): Diet dessert

Tuesday

Breakfast (275 cal): ½ cup cottage cheese, 1 cup pineapple, toast with butter spray

Snack (80 cal): Cheese stick

Lunch (400 cal): Shrimp Cesar (no croutons but with tomato), 10 bagel chips

Snack (96 cal): 1.5 cups melon

Dinner: Late night at work

Wednesday

Breakfast (275 cal): ½ cup cottage cheese, 1 cup pineapple, toast with butter spray

Snack (80 cal): Cheese stick

Lunch (400 cal): Shrimp Cesar (no croutons but with tomato), 10 bagel chips

Snack (96 cal): 1.5 cups melon

Dinner (400 cal): Turkey Wrap (high fiber tortilla, turkey lunchmeat, 1 T light mayo, lettuce, tomato) and 200 cal macaroni and cheese
Snack (100 cal): Diet dessert

Thursday

Breakfast (275 cal): ½ cup cottage cheese, 1 cup pineapple, toast with butter spray

Snack (80 cal): Cheese stick

Lunch (400 cal): Shrimp Cesar (no croutons but with tomato), 10 bagel chips

Snack (96 cal): 1.5 cups melon

Dinner: Late Night at Work

Friday

Breakfast (275 cal): ½ cup cottage cheese, 1 cup pineapple, toast with butter spray

Snack (80 cal): Cheese stick

Lunch (400 cal): Shrimp Cesar (no croutons but with tomato), 10 bagel chips

Snack (96 cal): 1.5 cups melon

Dinner (418 cal): 2 chicken fajitas, greens and oranges with balsamic vinaigrette

Snack (100 cal): Diet dessert

Hmm... Not what I thought

Well, I've been an empty-nester for three weeks now, so I thought an update was due. So far, it's not what I expected. I really thought the house would feel so quiet and empty. I thought I would be awkward and lonely. I thought I would not know how to fill my time and be restless. None of that has been true. Apparently, I am busier than I thought I was.

The first week The Boy moved to college was also the first week my school was back in session. I was pretty involved in getting the staff set for the year and getting the kids off to a good start. Those things kept my mind occupied. It didn't leave me much time to dwell on the house being empty or quiet. (Plus The Boy texted me quite often and that helped. His nerves and worry about college have vanished. He's having a fabulous time.)

The second week I had one late night at work, another night out to dinner with colleagues, and the following evening J from Arizona ("JAZ" from here on) arrived for a ten-day visit. All this week, the third since The Boy moved, JAZ has been here so the house has not been empty or lonely. Restless and bored has not been a problem.

I did intend to continue my food blogging as an empty-nester: planning, shopping, and cooking for one. So far it's been a bit complicated to do so. The Boy comes home on the weekend, so I cook nicer meals. I end up eating the leftovers for most of the rest of the week. Plus this week, there's been two of us. I still plan on writing more about dining solo.

Next week is still a little busy: JAZ leaves Tuesday, Wednesday is a late night at work, and The Boy is home by Friday. Maybe things will be quieter and more boring after that.